Once upon a dream.

     Floating along on a dream. On a cloud filled with all the wonders of the world. High above the reality of the ground below, filled with the hate and violence of a repressed age. We can drift here for an eternity, living on nothing but the hope of a day to come. A perfect day where nothing is wrong, and you are here. A life of love and passion, wrapped in a bubble where not even the effects of time can get us. They try to grab at us. They throw their words to us, in hope of hurting us. They will never get us. Our surrounding shelter is too strong for them. We will spend all day wishing, knowing they will come true, and the world, for us, is perfect.
     The memory of the life before has disappeared for us. We were like them before you see. The world of the cold and hungry. We lived among them and did not even think that something was wrong. We took it for the normal thing, that so many can die and we carry on regardless. All the death is normal, accepted, expected. But those days are far behind us now.
     Now we create it. Our world. Our dream. Always in good company. Always loved. Always needed. Always wanted. And always safe.
     There was always a time when that bubbled was going to break. Shatter into a million tiny pieces and part us. I was left alone. Thrown back down into the world I fought so hard to escape. The dream escaping through the cracks and now time and pain can get to me. I can hear them shouting. They mock me. The voices of the days that past. They can get me now. Their tongues and claws reach out to grab me. They reach into my soul, past my skin and into my very mind. Removing all those dreams and the hope of a better day, and fill every inch of my being with the feeling of slowly dying.
     And there I am. Back into the day to day life of the world I left. They have got me. The dream no longer comforts me. I look back onto it and it is gone. I imagine your face and it pains me to think that you may have been a figure that I made in a dream. A perfect illusion.
     A dream is just a dream, and reality must eventually take its place. For those who live a dream barely live at all.

But then you slipped away

You'd come home. There you were sitting together like nothing had ever changed. You both turned to look at me when I walked in and you started to explain that you had sorted everything out and you were coming back to us.
I could barely hear the words. The happiness I had felt had put me into a trance and everything around me stood still. I imagined what our lives would be like now that you were back home. Visions of us sitting around a dinner table surrounded by family and friends sprung into my head.
I ran over to the 2 of you and wrapped us into a tight embrace. The world was right again and I knew that everything would be ok as long as I never let go.
But then you slipped away.
Then I opened my eyes and that perfect world around me crumpled and I was left with the crushing reality of life without you. That feeling of dread and loathing of the fact you have to carry on, day after day.

You are but a dream

My friend wrote a poem, and they want to see what people think of it, so they asked me to publish it on here! Tell me what you think!!!!

I toss, I turn, I think of you
Same old stuff, nothing new
I think upon this special spark
Thats grown and grown within my heart

'Cause in my mind we'll dance and sing
Hold hand and smile at everything
But I'm not blind, I see its true
I do not mean as much to you

You're friendly to me but you draw a line
Anything less and that's just fine
But stray too far and woe is me
I get put down albeit gently

But still I dream of being with you
I hope and I pray, yet you haven't a clue
That you are the angel, the one in my life
The one I would marry and have as my wife

I know I aim high but you see thats just me
Yes, I'm aware that you're better than me
But common to me rejections a theme
And so I realise, my love, you are but a dream

Never say never

This is the second poem:

It may not be now
It may not be soon
It may be in days yet to come time
But whether its soon
Or a long time from now
There is a chance it can happen somehow

So never say never
And never say always
There is always at least one exception

As so if you ever
Should hear in the hallways
A never, its deception

Changes

My friend once showed me two poems. I loved them immediately and this is the first of the two:

Some may think that it's a shame
That nothing ever stays the same
That what is good and fine today
May soon become another way
You can't just count on things to stay
The same they were just yesterday
Seem contradictory and strange
The only thing that's sure is change

But change is movement, change is growth
Not bad nor yet, and yet it's both
Of memories filled with days that passed
Have brought us here today at last,
And as the moving shadows cast
Ahead on what will be the past
As time moves on and rearranges
An infinite amount changes

Secret affections

We sat. Just sat. And talked, of course. That big tree that stretched over us, hiding us and our secret from the outside. Our secret was that it was us against the world, and that we belonged to each other; no-one else.
The sun rose every day without fail, and we knew that everyday that this happened it would fill us with the joy and confidence that we were still us. Nothing had changed. As the sun rose, so did we. We filled the sky with the feelings we had for each other, and, even if the world didn't know, we knew this would last. The sun faded but we knew that this was just one more day to tick off of the calendar, and the next day would bring another adventure for the two of us to enjoy, together.
We returned to the tree, same as we did every other day. Our initials carved into the bark, binding out agreement in wood, making it public for the whole world to see. That was our tree. Each branch was a memory that we had together, stretched out, intertwined with each other, and made a beautiful silhouette of our time. We would sit every night and watch the sun move across the sky, the wind made the leaves dance in the descending sun light, the whole world was alive around us.
We threw seeds from our tree out to the grass around it, hoping that they would grow, and maybe one day, when they were old and wise, they would have the joy of hiding a couple under their long branches.
The wind is now bitter around me, as I wait in vain hope for your appearance. I sit and study the leaves that have fallen around me, and as I sit there and watch them die, I feel my feelings for you fade with them. Our initials that were once carved in front of me in our tree are gone and in its place, your name and hers stood strong side by side, with a letter pinned to it. 2 words. Your hand has written 2 words in that delicate handwriting. The 2 words that caused me to sink to the ground, among the dying leaves, in despair. Those 2 words that say everything, yet nothing at all. 'I'm sorry' I know exactly where you are, in the arms of her. The one girl you always held that secret affection for. Our tree lays dead around me, and as I turn to leave, I see one tiny shoot beginning to grow from one of the seeds that we planted when our tree, and our love, blossomed and grew for the whole world to see.

When will it work on me?

Same corridor, same eyes, same words. All that's different is the place. Walking down the long gauntlet, the same things are shouted from either side. Being pushed from one side to another, and into the arms of the people who just push you back. It seems like the people don't even have faces anymore, there are too many of them to keep track off. They are the same every time, nothing is different. There are no defining features of either place now.
I thought the rest would do me good. Give me time to build up my strength again. I walked in with my head held high, confident strides into the hall that once was filled with eyes that could terrify me. It felt good. It felt like people could see how I had changed just by the way I was looking at them. Then there they were. Those two people. They knew they had won and nothing had changed just by the way they looked at them. The laugh that escaped from them was barely needed as they knew they had turned me back into the timid girl I was before. My head shot to the same floor that I had studied for the past year, and my once long strides turned into a run past them.
I thought I was strong enough to go back and see them. Guess not. Guess the time I spent building myself back up again really could be destroyed in one quick look. I have to ask myself why it is like this. Why me? Why always me? Love life I was told! ...Why do I have to love this one? The one where just the mention of someone's name can make me feel like I want it to be over. Confident...I give the illusion well now I feel. I have been perfecting it over the last few years. It seems to have worked on you. The question is: when will it work on me?