Sunday, 21 August 2011

Can you lose something you didn't have in the first place?

'A lost cause'. Words I heard once. What is a 'lost cause' though? It is only a 'lost cause' when you give up. Surely until then, it is a 'cause in progress'. You make it a 'lost cause'. You make it worthless and useless. If I give up then what I worked for doesn't mean as much to me as when I started. Yet, isn't that what I was trying to avoid? Trying to stop them from forgetting me, and isn't that what I'm doing?

You told me to give up. Yet, if I give up, everything I have done is wasted. Everything I worked for is useless and it may take me back further than I was when I started. That makes it worse than it was when I started, so giving up isn't right thing to do.

You told me to cut my losses. What losses? I haven't lost anything yet. I still have everything that is in my head, it is still there. But if I cut my losses then I lost it. Shouldn't I carry on fighting now? Can you lose something you didn't have in the first place? Can you claim something when it belongs to someone else? Can you hold on to a wish of what something could be?

So answer me this, if I give up now, why is it only me who loses?

They are all.

When did they eyes in the glass become judgemental? Telling me the lies that only they can see through. The only person I can never escape. The one person I can never escape. The one who will always tell me the truth. The one I could never deceive. When did they become right? They changed into what I hated. They stand there, taunting me. Mimicking me. Copying all I say and do. They have all the experience of my time locked into them.
The glass moves as I do. We are one and the same. They show me what I will be with themselves. All that I am now. They show me what I know but have forgotten and hidden. They are the memory I can never forget. They are the past, the present and future. They are the forgotten and the remembered. They are the good and thebad. They are the favoured and the alone. They are the dark and the light. They are all.
The eyes that show me who I am. The eyes that cause me to run and hide. The eyes that compel me to leave their sight. The eyes that never allow me to leave.The eyes that show me what I am. They eyes in the glass. The glass mirror.